Issue #138 – Letting Go of Toxic People
We had dinner with our crew last night and remarked about how great it was to hang with people who make us feel relaxed and happy, a stark contrast to some ‘friends’ who stir the pot with hurtful gossip, lash out unexpectedly, constantly criticize everyone and everything around them, and leave us feeling depleted whenever we spend time together. Life is too short to spend precious time on people who constantly trigger stress, or make you feel guilty, anxious. Time to take stock of your circle and invest in thoughtful people who make you laugh, fill you up, and make you feel like a better person because you do the same for them. Nobody should be allowed to dim your shining light. This newsletter is dedicated to the memory of Elaine Weinstein Goldberg, one of the brightest lights who impacted everyone in her orbit. Her beautiful spirit and friendship will forever be in our hearts.
The What List
July 18, 2018
by Gina Pell + Amy Parker
100% Editorial picks. No pay for play. Ever.
The Stand. Nanette, the Netflix comedy special by art history student turned comedian Hannah Gadsby, is going mad viral. It’s fresh. It’s brilliant. It’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen and must be watched now!
The Talk. For those of you who missed our Let’s Talk About Money sesh last night in San Francisco with Ellevest, you can still get started on how to invest like a woman right here.
The Read. English and Linguistics lovers, here’s some heady summer fiction written by Laurent Binet, one of our favorite authors: The Seventh Function of Language. He’s also the author of another gripping favorite called HHHH.
The Drink. Our friend Lisa told us about Pomp & Whimsy, an artisanal gin she described as drinking Chanel. Made by a female distiller with packaging as pretty as a peach. We’re researching more female distillers and vintners for our The What Summit. If you have any faves, please let us know here.
CLEAR THE DECKS.
CLEAR YOUR MIND.
We all crave peace and harmony. And yet sometimes we allow other people to steal our joy regardless of whether or not they are doing it intentionally. Our first wake up call came around age thirty when we started to drift away from “party friends” who were there for good times but MIA when $h!t got real. Then around forty we realized that it was totally in our power to create healthy, joyful friendships. Not just wait for them to happen. The epiphany came after a hard talk with a true blue friend late night in her car as she dropped us at home after a party. I was going off about a mutual friend who was always whining about imperfections in the hospitality or graciousness of others yet always showed up empty-handed. “Honey, I don’t get it. You complain about this annoying person every time we’re together. You have such little time to socialize as it is. Why do you continue to waste years on someone who constantly sucks the energy out of the room? Shouldn’t friends lift each other up?” Since then, we started to take notice of how we feel after hanging out with friends. There are countless articles and blog posts dedicated to warning signs of toxic people. (Not to mention how to tell whether or not your significant other exhibits telltale signs of abuse like possessiveness, surveillance, and a rush towards commitment.) Instead, we offer three simple signs you are with the right people: 1) You leave encounters with a smile on your face and in your heart, 2) You can’t wait to see them again, 3) You feel light, optimistic, and happy afterward. Granted, good people go through dark times but the bottom line is that you should enjoy hanging out with your friends. History is overrated especially if it entails a history of emotional suffering.